Saturday, November 14, 2015

Do you believe?

Tonight Jon and I had the priviledge of volunteering at Ronald Mcdonald House and serving families who were living there, just as we have lived there during our journey with Jake.  It was a great experience.  Heartfelt and wonderful, and truly felt like giving back just a little of what we have been given.  I'm also so thankful for the NL Heart Support Group, and the life long friends I have made through it --- often, they are the only ones who can truly understand how I feel about my son's congenital heart defect and it's impact on his life.  




I have a HUGE Thank You to say as well.  In October our local children's hospital, the Janeway, did it's annual Pyjama-rama Fundraiser and we created a team with the goal of raising $500 in dedicated funds for the cardiology department where Jake has spent so much time and had exceptional care.  Through the donations, Team Jake donated $525 to the Janeway Cardiology department --- THANK YOU! With 1 in 100 children being born with a CHD this is a very busy part of the hospital.

My sweet kids are the light of my life.  Georgia blessed me in ways she will never comprehend the day she came home from school upset because her classmates said that God was not real.  My outspoken six year old told them that God was very much real, and alive in her heart.  In the rush-rush-rush of daily life, I often feel that my messages don't get heard, but this most important message of all was heard.  And I know not only from me - from her sunday school teachers Kathryn and Josh - and from her wonderful Nanna and Poppa.  I am so thankful.  

Jake is once again making the health professionals in his life draw a blank in terms of explaining his progress.  His dietician just simply shrugs and says "I have no idea", and his cardiologist wonders if it could be that he's not absorbing some nutrients properly but really has no idea either.  Jake's diet has been 50/50 with two types of formula for the last year or so - one is high calorie and one is normal calorie.  We recently ran into a supply issue with the high calorie formula and went over two weeks without it.  When Jake was weighed in after those two weeks he had gained A POUND.  A POUND!
So the decision was made to continue on without the high calorie formula because he was vomiting less, eating a tiny bit more orally, and gaining weight.  So here we are, about five weeks after stopping the high calorie food and Jake weighed in at 27 lbs 8 oz last week.  Whoo! So great! 

I had a long chat with Jake's cardiologist last week, and she told me about evidence that is based on 40 years of data, that shows that for children with the Fontan circulation - delaying the surgery until the after the age of 3 has the best short and long term outcomes.  So, we've officially been delayed once again - now we are expecting the Fontan procedure at SickKids in May or June of 2016. Remember the tiredness that I worried over in my last post? That's most likely directly related to the growth spurt that he has been going through.  It's normal for single ventricle kids to slow down and have tiredness increase prior to the Fontan procedure, but for most kids who are on a normal growth curve this happens gradually.  In Jake's case, he has done a year's worth of growing in six months, and this is a big adaptation for his little heart.  Jake's iron and folate levels are also being checked because it's frequently a deficiency in children with single ventricle heart defects.  Jake's iron is normal, and we are waiting for the Folate report to come back.  

In the meantime, my boy is growing, happy and sweet.  His blankies are his most beloved posession, as you can see in the picture below which is from this morning --- Jake is lying down to rest with about 10 blankies on him :)




We also built a snowman this week.  Seriously, we did.



There are months where I feel like life is upside down.  It's topsy-turvy and ridiculous, and makes absolutely no sense at all.  This has been one of those months.  Some days I just feel like shouting --- life is hard.  

life is cruel.

 life is senseless.  

life is beautiful regardless.  

The whole world around me seems to have gone crazy --- most recently with the terrorist attacks in Paris, but with a thousand other events taking place daily in my own town and country.  There are days when I see why people ask - what kind of God would allow this? What kind of love is this? And with my own life as testimony, I don't have an answer for any of them.  I just believe.  Last night I watched a movie titled "Do You Believe", and was blown away by it's message.  I copied down the part that resounded the most with me and wanted to share it with you.  Here it is.

Do You Believe?

I’m not sure any of us ever gets to see the whole picture. the God’s eye view, so to speak.
Tt’s like we’re little children, sitting on the floor, gazing up at the backside of a tapestry that’s being woven.
To our eyes it sometimes looks ugly, the colours are a jumble and none of it makes much sense.
But one day, we’ll no longer be sitting on the floor.

We’ll come around to the other side,
And the genius of God’s handiwork will become clear.
At the center of it all, we’ll see the cross.
But in that immense tapestry, we’ll also see the single unique thread,
The only one of it’s kind and colour, that our own life has added to the piece,
The one thread without which the whole thing, would somehow be incomplete.

Personally, I can’t wait to see His masterpiece.



Do you believe?


Friday, October 9, 2015

Some days you gotta dance...

Yes, I am titling today's blog after a Dixie Chicks song.  It's stuck in my head today - particularly the line "live it up when you get the chance, when the world's not making no sense and your feeling just a little to tense".... And now, if you know the song, it's probably stuck in your head too.  Sorry about that!

I have created a Facebook Group called Bless Jake's Heart in an attempt to keep those who pray for Jake updated on a more regular basis, as the normality of our lives these days doesn't give me a whole lot to write about --- and I thank God for that every single day!!!! Please feel free to join it, and keep up with Jake's busy life these days.  We have a lovely Fall routine in place, that involves a freedom Jake has never had before.  Jake is in swimming lessons, a weekly playgroup, and KinderMusik, and every dry day we are at the playground across the road where Jake can easily spend an hour sitting in the swing, he loves it so much.  



Those of you who have been following Jake for awhile know that he is due for his third stage repair, the Fontan Procedure,  right about now.  Jake's cardiologist and SickKids have both expressed the opinion that it would be better for Jake to be bigger before this procedure takes place.  The open heart surgery has been delayed, likely until March or April, to allow time Jake to grow.  That is only if his heart function remains the same, and we keep getting those great "no change" reports at his Echos.  So we're entering Flu season and hoping for the best.  One day at a time, and knowing God is bigger than they bogeyman, as the Veggie Tales would say.



In the weight department we have good news to report! Jake weighed in at a whopping 26 lbs 8 oz at his last weigh in!!! Whoo!!! We danced that day too.  Now we're aiming for 27 lbs...hopefully this month.  The intense feeding schedule we have him on seems to be effective in putting on those calories.  Of course his eating/drinking has dwindled down to almost nothing because he no longer feels hunger but he is still snacking enough to retain his eating skills, which is really all we need at this point.  Jake does feel thirst though, because of the concentrated formula he is on, and will also drink a little each day.

Georgia is on my mind today.  It's tough being the healthy sibling sometimes.  Our life is in a lovely level of calm right now, but I know in a few months it won't be.  Please keep Georgia in your prayers too.  







Thursday, September 3, 2015

It's a brutiful life.

Life is brutiful.  I've said it before, but I truly believe it - it's a brutal and beautiful life.  I started my day today with the image of a 2 year old Syrian boy named Aylan who drowned and washed ashore in Turkey when his family attempted to escape persecution and become Canadians.  I can't even deal with the pain that my heart feels over the suffering.  It's instant focus and clarification in my own life.  My prayers are with that boy, but I know that he is now free from pain and suffering and with his Heavenly Father.   It's hard to transition away from that thought, but the world keeps on spinning even when you feel like the pain should stop it in it's tracks.


There is still beauty in the world, but it hardly seems right that both moments can coexist.  Look at the beauty from my day today, thanks again to the very patient and talented Vanessa Pretty.



At Jake's last weigh in, he was back up to the 15th percentile with a whopping 25 lbs 11 oz on his tiny frame.  For the first time, I am noticing a real solid weight in my arms when I hold Jake even for a short period of time.  I know that his pattern is a roller coaster of ups and downs with his weights, but for today I'm embracing my 25 lb 11 oz Jake and the little bit of chub that seems to be developing - most noticeably that his pacemaker is not so prominently stuck out from his little belly! I love it, and I thank God for it.  It's a hard road of reflux and tube feeds but we are running through it together.  In terms of reflux though,, the new med Sulcrate did not help Jake's reflux so we have discontinued that and restarted the Domperidone to see if that will help at all.  A side effect of domperidone (TMI warning!) is soft stool though, so we'll see if that interferes with his weight gain.  For now, Jake has graduated to weigh ins every second week - so much freedom! 

Jake's genetic testing came back NEGATIVE for the Loveless hearing loss gene - and I couldn't be more thankful.  Both of my kids had a 50% chance of carrying (and thus being affected by) this gene - and neither is a carrier.  I know most people look at me and say that I manage just fine with the hearing loss, but I would still never wish it on any one.  Jake often tells me things that happen before I hear them - like tonight when I was putting him to sleep upstairs Jon came home and Jake popped up and said "Dadda home!" before I heard a sound.  My little darlings.

A HUGE  thank you is due to everyone who donated blood during the 2 day blood drive in Jake's honour.  Our goal was 100 donors, or roughly 300 pints of blood. 106 PEOPLE DONATED!  You all rock, and I thank you so much for honouring my Heart Warrior with your own gift of life.  Next year's goal - 120 donors!

 A proud sister representin'


 No matter how busy you are...


 Poppa donated too!!!



Jake driving the blood mobile :)


In our world there always seems to be a cause for concern.  Lately we've been finding the costs of feeding tubes/and their acessories very oppressive.  I find myself daily searching Medical Supply Exchange sites on Facebook, and with the help of a great friend (That's you Dominique!) I've managed to save literally hundreds of dollars on Jake's day to day supplies - but the cost still adds up.  More than that though, we have discovered that Jake's oxygen saturations are almost always lower on his left hand side.  Significantly lower.  For example, tonight's resting oxygen saturation is 67-70 on the left side, and 88-89 on the right side.  We are tracking this, and our cardiologist is aware, and we're going to explore this at our cardiology visit next week.  Jake's safe oxygen sat range is above 75, but preferably above 80, so I'm worried that this low sat on one side of his body is going to affect him in some detrimental way.  There is always something.

Here are some highlights from our family life since the last update.



 St. John's hit 30 degrees celcius for only the 12th time in the last 30 years...so we went to the beach!!!



 Look at the determined face on this Heart Warrior....



 Jake's G tube malfunctioned but he's still smiling after Momma and Dadda replaced it at home!!!



 Our beloved dog is having major health issues, but we're keeping him comfortable and enjoying each day with our Lukey boy.



One benefit of having a big sister - being dressed up like a doll! Check out Jake's shoes - they belong to an Ariel doll!


Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Cover this child with Your love.

A few days ago we arrived home after Jake's first ever family vacation.  We packed up our car and drove to Cavendish, PEI for seven days of bliss.  Overall we drove about 3000 kilometers there and back - and that doesn't include the distance covered by the Ferry boats! The kids were not fans of the car and driving, but we got around it with the use of a dvd player, many naps, and overnight boat crossings.  For me, the whole experience was wonderful.  I always use the word normal like it is an oxymoron - but it is for us in many respects.  This was normality at it's finest.  The highlight of every day was sitting and playing poolside - we spent most of our time here.  We ate lots of fresh seafood, went to the beach, a different restaurant most nights for supper, Sandspit, Shining Waters, Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum, The Haunted Mansion in Kensington, Jurassic Bart's Dinosaur Museum, the Red Dirt Shirt shop, lots of Cows Ice Cream (Rated number one ice cream spot world wide!)...I can't even name it all right now.  But mostly it was fun.  Lots of fun.  Since Jake was involved it was sometimes pukey fun - no pun intended, but we replaced his feeds as well as we could and carried on.  I'll let these pictures tell the story...













3 days before we left for PEI Jake had a hard weigh in at the dietician.  A couple weeks ago we had celebrated because Jake hit the 25 lb mark - 25 lbs and 1 ounce! He hit the 15th percentile!!! Oh man, that was wonderful.  Then Jake got a cold and started vomiting more...and weighed in almost a pound less 3 days before our vacation, and stooped back down to the 3rd percentile.  Oh :(  I didn't post it on here because I wanted nothing to get our moods down for vacation.  We changed his feeding plan again - he is now getting 1300 ml of high calorie fluid in his G Tube each day, broken up into 5 feeds - the first at 6 am and the last at 11 pm.  So...if Jon and I look zombie like - this is why! Jake is going to be weighed in again this Thursday...I'm almost sick to my stomach thinking about it.  But I think he may have gained, even though the vomiting has not stopped.  It's a almost daily hassle for him and Dr. P his G Tube doctor prescribed him a new med today that we will try to see if it will help with the vomiting.  It's a new one that Jake has never had before - the other 3 reflux meds we have tried have not really worked for him.  Any prayers for weight gain would be so much appreciated.

If you are able to give blood, check this out...



It's a 2 day event and our goal is 100 donors.  You don't have to be local to us to donate in Jake's honour.  Here's what you do if you live away - To register go to www.blood.ca/joinpartnersforlife and use NLHE541250. If people don't have their donor card # tell them to select that they are a new donor. People can donate across Canada and still be counted!!!!  Given that the average donation is 3 pints of blood, if 100 people donate that will be 300 pints to save the lives of other Canadians.  We can do this guys! Join the FB group and let us know if you donate, and also please share the event with all your friends!  2nd Annual Blood Donor Clinic In Honour of Jake  .


We are also waiting on the results from genetic testing for Jake.  Some of you will know that hereditary hearing loss runs in my family - Georgia was tested as a baby and does not carry the gene.  Now we are waiting to hear if Jake is a carrier, if he is he will experience some degree of hearing loss.  There was further examination of Jake's DNA also done, but this test result will take much longer - they are basically looking to see if there are any abnormalities that would point to a reason for the development of his heart condition.  I'm fully not expecting that test to show anything - as is the doctor.  The hearing loss has been a source of some anxiety for me lately though, although I cope well with my profound-severe loss I don't want that for my son.  Please pray that this test comes back negative.  

Father, I pray that you will cover this child with Your love.  Psalm 33:22




Monday, July 27, 2015

We will see you again.



Earlier this year I heard about the Dream Fund's event Wings for an Angel, and I loved the idea so much that I decided we needed to honour some of the angels who have touched our lives.  Wings for an Angel is a province-wide butterfly release that gives you the oppourtunity to honour someone - alive or deceased.  In our case we honoured 5 individuals - 3 heart warriors, the baby that I lost in 2012, and Mark Jackman.






In our journey with Jake's congenital heart defect we have met so many families who have been touched by this monster.  CHD is the number one killer of children before their first year of age - did you know that? More children die from CHD's each year than from all types of childhood cancer combined.  So I thought with this butterfly release, and the honouring of 3 of the babies we met who have passed away because of CHD related illness that this would an opportunity to have those children remembered - because I know that their families want their names said, and their stories told.  These paragraphs and pictures will not do justice to their beautiful lives, but it will touch on their strength and courage and absolute beauty.  The world needs to know these stories - CHD needs more research and funding.  Please whisper a prayer for these families, and remember these beautiful faces with them - their bodies are now whole and there is no more pain for them, but their absence leaves a hole in the hearts of their families.





AVA




Ava Samatha Grace or  “Birdy” as her family like to call her - was  born December 4, 2012.   She was born with a severe congenital heart defect called hypo-plastic left heart, where only the right side of her heart was viable and working.   She had open heart surgery at 2 days old, but by the time she was 6 months old her heart was failing and it was clear she was going to need a heart transplant.    She was put on the transplant list, but two months later, on August 15, 2013, Ava flew home to heaven where God welcomed her with open arms and gave her a new heart, and a new body that would never perish or fade.   Ava is sadly missed, but she was such a gift and blessing from God that now all we can do is be thankful for the time that we had with her, and for what she taught us.  Her family knows that they will never forget her.




GIDEON




Gideon, which means Mighty Warrior, was born with a congenital heart defect February 25, 2014 and lost his battle May 7, 2015 after 11 surgeries (four of which were open heart) and spending his entire life in hospital. Gideon received many blood transfusions over the course of his life and with a whole bunch of help his mom would like to give back. Each day blood donations help save lives. Please consider donating in honour of Gideon and help save a life.  To donate, make an appointment with Canadian Blood Services and give them the number INHO368016 before you make your donation then it will count towards Gideon's Mother's goal of 409 units of donated blood by the end of 2015.  Join his page The Mighty Warrior Blood Drive on Facebook to show your support!




GABRIEL




Gabriel was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome which means the left side of his heart did not develop... along with this complication the heart tried to compensate building extra routes to transport blood from the other side of the heart. Although it tried to complete itself... it in fact made more complications by forcing too much blood to one area of the heart.  Gabriel was 11 months old when he lost the fight and went to heaven.  



Matthew 18:1-4.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.



Rest in peace little ones, inside the fold of God's loving arms.  

Ava, Gideon, Gabriel, Baby Anstey and Mark.  We will see you again.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Celebrating Big Sis



See that beauty? She's about to graduate from Kindergarten, and I could not possibly be more proud of her.  Georgia, if you ever get to read this blog - you are my sunshine, the light of  my world - I love you so much.  Please don't ever change for the world - you are awesome the way you are.

Jake is completely in love with his big sis.  He follows her around and asks for "sissy" when she is not there...and so often I see him trying to do the things she does.  I'm so glad they have each other.



In regards to my last post, the nose swab came back positive for human metapneumovirus, but by that time Jake had beaten it.  He's so tough and strong - his half a heart does not hold him back!  Shortly after that Georgia came down with all the same symptoms, but of course didn't need hospitalization, and it seems like for the moment we are in the clear in our house.  I probably shouldn't tempt fate there -- knock on wood.

Another Heart Mom shared a verse today that I needed to hear -- sometimes this life is completely overwhelming. Sometimes I just forget to wait on the Lord, and spend days, or weeks plowing straight through - until it becomes too much.  And eventually it always becomes too much.

Psalm 27:14King James Version (KJV)

14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.


The thing is - when I pack my diaper bag to leave the house, I need to pack a G Tube replacement kit, a feeding pump, feed bag filled with special formula and syringes for flushing....For some reason I was struck by that this week.  It's not "normal" but it is my norm.  My diaper bag is HUGE :) Today I feel fine about it, but some days it just strikes me as incredibly unfair -- for Jake.  On the outside he's Mr. Perfect but there is so much maintenance that goes on behind the scenes.  I find myself praying daily for guidance, strength and acceptance -- especially when the feeding pump keeps kinking up and it takes 2 hours to get 300 ml into Jake, or when the feeding tube won't connect correctly and I find Jake standing in a puddle of stomach contents crying because his socks are wet when I've only left the room for 2 minutes.  Does that make me ungrateful, feeling this way sometimes? I hope not.  Because I know how blessed I am.  I wouldn't trade my reality for anyone else's.  I am blessed and my cup is so full.



The last two weigh in's Jake has lost weight, of course...he's weighing in again on Friday but I'm not holding my breath for a gain.  Two weeks ago we were faced with the reality that Jake needs to gain - we have to let go of this pressure we have to get him to eat and drink, and just feed him ourselves and let him gain.  So that's what we have been doing.  Jake is on a set schedule, so at 10 am, 2 pm, 6 pm and 11 pm regardless of where we are or what we are doing, the feeding pump goes on his back.  I've been setting up feeds on the side of the TCH, in parking lots, random driveways, etc.  I keep thinking that his legs look a little fuller - please let it be reality not wishful thinking.



I need to send a huge shout out to Little Bay Island's Home League group -- When I wrote my post about the costs of maintaining Jake's feeding tube they all chipped in and sent Jake a check.  It's so thoughtful, and self-less and amazing.  The amount goes right into Jake's account, and will be used when we need to buy supplies once again.  Thank you.  Seriously.  From the bottom of my heart.  



One huge development in the recent weeks...Jake now brushes his teeth.  Any parent of a child who is tube fed will understand -- Jake has never let me brush his teeth, or been willing to brush them himself, and because of the possiblity of developing an oral aversion we were advised not too push him.  But with coaxing, and encouragement from Big Sis, he now does it himself with a touch up from me afterwards.  I'm so proud.




Thought I'd share a couple of pics from today with you - it was cold outside so we painted this afternoon.  I just love that expression of concentration on Jake's face.  The little doll.






After breakfast Jake vomited his feed.  Unfortunately that's not an unusual occurrence and he went straight into the tub after.  Here is is just after I took him out and asked him to tell me what a monkey says....The cuteness is too much.







Saturday, June 6, 2015

When life gives you lemons...go to the Janeway :)

June has not been an easy month for Jake so far...and we're only 6 days in.  Jake gave us another reminder of how precious our "normal" days are - the days with no hospital involvement.  The bug that Jake has been struggling with for a couple of weeks intensified on Thursday/Friday, and led to Jake being taken to Emerge because of low oxygen saturations.  Jake always has low oxygen saturation (100 is normal.  Jake lies in 80-90 range most days), but when he gets sick they can really dip and then he needs oxygen assistance for a little while.  On Thursday night they dipped to 68-72, then when we were ready to bring him to emerge they recovered into 78 range.  Friday they dipped again - 66-74 range, so I called cardiology then packed him up and went to Emerge.  After 5 hours of trying various things to see if they would help, iv, bloodwork, nose swab, and blow by oxygen....Jake was admitted to the Janeway for observation overnight.





After some oxygen, and IV antibiotics Jake seemed to rally - and held his own for the rest of the night with no oxygen required.  That meant he could go home today! It was his shortest hospitalization to date, and I'm so thankful for that! Thanks so much to Poppa for all his help - it's hard being in two places at once when Georgia can't be in Emerge or the Isolation area with Jake.  We couldn't have managed it without you.  Jake was so happy when his Poppa came in - with new dinkies for him to play with, of course.  He fell asleep in his Poppa's arms soon after being admitted.

Jake has a follow up on Tuesday to get his blood levels rechecked (both white blood cells and platelets were low), and follow up with the admitting pediatrician.  He's on stronger antibiotics here at home, because we still don't know if it's viral or bacterial.

As you can see...Jake is happy to be home :)



It's funny the moments that stick in your mind...since we've been home I  keep having this flashback.  When the nurses were attempting Jake's IV (Jake is an extremely difficult poke), I was trying to comfort him while holding his arm in place.  It was too hard to look at his face, so I looked down at the table and noticed that his ear was filled with tears.  It was a pool of tears - my heart broke.

The nurses always say it's harder on the Mom than on the kid, but I don't know.  I think in the case of a kid like Jake who is always at the hospital and frequently being poked and prodded - it's harder on them.  My prayers lately have been focusing on Jake's mental health and strength - I don't want him to be a child who fears everything, who expects the world to hurt him.  That's not right.

Tonight as I try to calm my mind to go to sleep, I'm rewriting this verse for Jacob.  And for Me.  And for Georgia and Jon.

Psalm 18:2New International Version (NIV)

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
    my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield[a] and the horn[b] of my salvation, my stronghold.


The Lord is Jacob's Rock, Jacob's Fortress and Jacob's Deliverer;
my God is Jacob's rock, in whom Jacob takes refuge,
Jacob's shield, and the horn of his salvation, his stronghold.


The Janeway telethon is currently underway, and that hospital has played a crucial part in Jake's journey.  Cardiology, Dietician, Occupational Therapy, Audiology, Gastrointestional, Perinatal, X Ray and Cat Scan, Emerge....I don't know where Jake would be without them.  Especially Dr. T - we are so thankful for you.  

To make a donation to the Janeway, click here.  

Check out this year's theme song...Bounce Back...and be warned...I cried...


Thursday, June 4, 2015

Oh dear...

Our excitement over Jake's smaller nutriport feeding tube was short lived...The Nutriport was excellent in that it didn't make Jake's skin sore and it was small  and unobtrusive but...it has now malfunctioned twice - the balloon keeps bursting, and then the tube is falls out. When it comes out this is what Jake's belly looks like - and yes, that is milk in his stomach that you are seeing...




 The first Nutriport lasted 2 weeks to the day before falling out, and we were unable to reinsert it at home and then the doctors were unable to reinsert it at the Janeway.  Jake was throughly traumatized by all the pain from each attempt - it was unbearable.  He cried himself to sleep while still in the examination room, and then would shudder and cry each time I reached towards his belly after that.  Jake went 24 hours with a foley catheter in his stoma before the swelling went down enough that Dr. P was able to get it back in.  Now, 6 days later - the balloon burst again.  This time we were able to get the surgical g tube in place here at home with minimal pain for Jake.  Now, we have to buy new tubes to have on hand in chase the balloon inside the surgical tube also breaks.  We are not buying another Nutriport though - they run at $185 plus tax and that cannot be maintained at several changes each month.  We are considering trying the Mic Key although its very similar to the Nutriport, but for now we're just ordering one of the Mic G tubes (the long surgical one that Jake was first given when he got his G Tube), and waiting to hear whether our insurance company will help with the cost associated with the G Tube.  Jon called today to check on that and the company rep told him that she had no idea if G Tubes were covered, but none of the 3 kinds Jon  listed out for her were in their system.  That doesn't sound promising.  Jon was told to compose a letter, outlining the need for the G Tube and accessories, and enclose the prescription.  Upon reciept of that letter, the company will then determine if they can help us out with cost.  So, a answer is a little far away right now, but it is coming.  Jake had a good look at the broken feeding tubes today...




In the meantime, my priority is keeping Jake happy and pain free - and if he needs the larger tube to make this possible, then he'll keep the larger tube.  

Since my last post Jake has gained a pound! Really, he gained a pound and 5 ounces at one weigh in but a week later had lost the 5 ounces so it was exactly a pound of gain.  He hit 23 lbs 0 oz on the button.  Tomorrow is weigh in day again, I'm hoping for another gain, no matter how small!  

In even better news, we learned that Jake's pacemaker placement is intra abdominal - meaning that even though it looks like it could come through his skin, it is actually held in place by a pocket of muscle that was hollowed out of his stomach.  It was an enormous relief to read these words in an email from Jake's cardiologist.

Jake has been sick for a couple of weeks, and the cough seemed to worsen this week with the fever reappearing so he is now on antibiotics - but he has not been himself at all.  Here he is napping, while having a snack and sleeping off a temperature.  Poor little mite.


Note, that is the Nutriport in the picture above - Jake's current Mic - G feeding tube does not look like that!

Thank you so much to everyone who rallied around Jake last week he was going through the painful tube change process.  It is so appreciated, and such a comfort.  If anyone does not believe in the power of prayer, they need to spend a week or two in my life....


Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Normality 2.0

In my last post I shared the new normal that my family has found, with Jake being the healthiest he has ever been...then shortly after that my little man had to challenge us once again.  Jake has been waking every morning with puffy eyes, and when this swelling started we contacted Jake's cardiologist who wanted him seen for immediately for an echo and a CT scan because the concern was that the swelling could be caused by a compromise of his Superior Vena Cava, which drains to his lungs because of the connection made during the Glenn open heart surgery.  If there was a blockage, then the pressure would move back upwards and could show in swelling in the face.  We spent 7 hours at the Janeway that day, with Jake fasting for sedation, with an unsedated echo followed by bloodwork, 7 pokes for an IV and then sedation for the CT Scan.  That day passed in a haze - I genuinely felt like I could puke at point.  Jake had a rough go of it, feeling very upset over all the procedures and his fear of hospital workers came back full force. That day it was raining outside, so Jake wore his rubber boots.  And he insisted...demanded...that he be allowed to keep his boots on.  He had his boots on for all procedures except the CT scan :) I believe that was his way of keeping a small measure of control over his life, when everything else was spiraling for him.  Here he is with his boots, and his cars - waiting on the results of his echo.




 When the cardiologist came to us at the end of the day with the results, she told us that we should be saying prayers of thankfulness - there was nothing wrong with Jake's heart.  His heart is holding stable, and the CT showed a great surprise...Jake's severely narrowed left pulmonary artery (which was 4.5 mm in size at the last CT scan) had GROWN.  GROWN! This growth was a huge surprise for everyone - but something to be celebrated.  I don't have the exact measurement yet, but the estimation was that it had gone from 50% the size of the normal pulmonary artery - to around 75% the size of the normal PA.  That is nothing short of miraculous in my mind - Jake has been having monthly echos ever since his Glenn surgery because of this narrowed LPA, and the dangers it presented.  Now those dangers are less.  Some of you may remember that the team at SickKids attempted to repair this narrowing with a patch last year during his Glenn procedure, but the patch failed.  The plan is now to attempt a new fix during his Fontan open heart procedure, likely in the Fall of this year.  With this growth I have hope that maybe a fix won't be necessary, or at least won't be as complicated.  The final stage of Jake's heart repair is complicated enough with any added issues.  Please, if you are someone who regularly prays for Jake - add this to your prayer list - more growth for his LPA.   Thank you Lord.  You have proved your faithfulness to Jake and our family over and over again.  I praise you for that.


Jake is still waking in the morning with puffy eyes, and we have not figured out why.  Allergy meds are not being responded to - so it's unlike to be an allergy but we don't know for sure.  Celiac disease was ruled out in the bloodwork.  We don't have the results of the thyroid bloodwork yet.  But, Jake has been referred back to Gastroenterology to see if they have any answers.  So, we wait...

While we're waiting we have been enjoying more of our normality...and discovered that Jake has a great love for the outdoors.  Some days we spend all afternoon outside, even though it is still super cold here - we bundle up and live outside or on the patio for hours at a time.  

  


We can't get enough of our wonderful life together.


Today, Jake got rid of the enormous surgical g tube, and now has a Nutriport G Tube.  The difference is mainly one of size, and comfort for Jake.  It also means we don't need to use tape on his sensitive belly skin.  I took a picture before it was placed in Jake.


See that tiny thing in the middle of the picture? Shaped like the letter T? That's a nutriport, and it's now in Jake's belly.  The Doctor took the water out of the balloon that was holding the surgical one in, then removed the old tube.  Then he slipped the Nutriport into the hole with a little bit of difficulty since the hole is so small (and Jake had to be restrained by 3 adults to make this happen, he was so upset).  The nurse then filled the nutriport's balloon up with water to hold it in place and voila! A new, skin level G tube for Jake. 

Here's a file picture of what the tube looks like when the balloon is filled with water.  The flat part is what we see on the outside and the balloon in inside Jake's body.


We are adjusting to it, and learning how to use the attachments that come with the Nutriport.  Next on our list is to find a supplier for this new G Tube because it is not one used at SickKids, where we buy the rest of our supplies.  We're waiting for a prescription, then this Momma will set out on a mission to make that happen.  These are quite expensive, but we need to have a few on hand in case this one is pulled out.  Jake's new higher calorie formula is also significantly more expensive, and since we are not a two income family we have to carefully budget for these expenses.  


We are still struggling with weight gain, in a big way.  There has been no weight gain.  For every gain Jake has made, the following week there has been a loss.  We see the dietitian weekly because of this.  There are several concerns here - Jake is so small (roughly 2-3 on percentile chart), for Jake's open heart surgery in the Fall the recommended weight is 35 pounds which means Jake is 14 pounds too small.  And today the general surgeon added a new concern to our list.   It was something we had never heard of before - in people with very little subcutaneous fat layer (read: people with no fat under their skin), the pacemaker can actually erode the skin.  I literally turned to the doctor and said "what?" when he said that.  Then he reiterated, and I said "you cannot be serious".  Basically what he said is that the pacemaker is protruding so far from Jake's belly now, because he is growing length - wise but not gaining any actual weight while doing so, that it may actually come right through his skin if he doesn't start gaining weight.  

We already started a higher fat diet with Jake, and if the results for this week don't show any improvement when he is weighed on Friday, then another step will need to be taken.  It's a struggle because we can always give him more of his high calorie formula, but that means he will no longer feel hunger and will stop eating.  And we have fought so hard to get him to a point where he will eat well.  

Whew! There's a big update on all that is new with us right now.  We're still taking it one day at a time, and trusting God through it all.  Jake is no longer happy to walk into the Janeway though - and today after his new tube was inserted he fell asleep.  When we got home I laid him down and then went to hook up his pump to his new G Tube.  As soon as I touched the site Jake stirred in his sleep, and said "no!" :( My heart breaks for all the suffering - so much suffering.  Here are some pics from today at the hospital - as you can see, Jake is not his smiley self when he is there.  Please pray for comfort and strength for my little warrior, and for the bruises that my heart gets every time I have to hold him down for something that is hurting him.