Super Baby

This morning Jon and I were up at 2 am and at Sick Kids by 3 am in order to squeeze in a few hours with our boy before walking him to the operation room.  In all honesty, handing Jacob over to the nurses at the operating room was one of the hardest things I ever have had to do.  All I wanted to do was pick him up and run as fast as I could in the opposite direction.  I do realize that that was an irrational thought, and broken heartedly signed him over to the team.  After a 8 hour ordeal, baby Jacob came out of surgery and went back into the Cardiac Critical Care Unit.  The surgeon, Dr. Calderone, said everything went generally well.  The surgery was complicated by the fact that Jacob's archway was not normally shaped, so it was difficult to reconstruct.  The concern the doctor had was that Jacob's oxygen levels had dropped down to the 70s following a blood transfusion (100 is the normal oxygen level).  The team was unable to place Jacob's pacemaker, but put temporary wires on his heart to be hooked to an external pacemaker until  his chest is closed.  When the doctor's go back to close up Jacob's chest the permanent pacemaker will put in with new wires.  If all goes well from this point on, the doctor thought this could happen in 4-5 days.  And guess what? Jacob's heartrate (both higher and lower) is in the 150s! 

  In terms of risk level, Jacob is out of the riskiest zone but his condition is critical over the next week.  He is being monitored 24/7 by a cardiac nurse, and is hooked up to so many machines with almost every part of his body covered by an iv, line, or monitor of some type.  There are small patches of bare skin showing where we can gently rub him to let him know that we are there and we love him - i think he particularly likes having the top of his head smoothed down.  On thing I did appreciate - his cardiac nurse at CCCU drew a superman symbol over the gauze that covers his open chest, and wrote Super Baby underneath.  It gives the superman symbol a whole new meaning for this Momma.  Jon and I are hoping to grab a few hours of sleep before heading back early tomorrow.  Jacob's Nanna and Poppa are visiting with him now.  I am so thankful... I know full well that Jacob is not out of the woods by any means, but according to the doctor's and nurse's once again Jacob is doing really well.  Jacob has been exceeding expectations since his diagnosis - and I can only thank God for that -  he really is the Great Physician!

I am sorry for not responding to the many messages that have been sent to us over the past week or so - I want you all to know that every thought and note has been appreciated, and many of them have brought tears to my eyes.  So now I think we are on to stage two of our journey - recovery from the surgery.  I can't describe the feeling that comes over a Mother when she sees her five day old child breathing through a ventilator, hooked up to an impossible number of machines, while his heart beats through a chest that is covered only in plastic.  I feel like I need to rely on God now more than ever to help Jon and I through this stage - we know Jacob can hear us and he opened his eyes earlier and looked directly at me when I spoke to him, but he is sedated and unable to move at the moment.  Personally I'm feeling right now that I need to be at his bedside 24 hours a day, and feeling a lot of guilt when I leave to pump my milk, have a meal, or sleep.  For those of you who have been so faithfully praying for baby Jake, please continue to pray - it's a long journey for him back to health, and the nurses keep telling us that it will get worse before it gets better.  I am so thankful for the way this day has turned out, and can't wait to be back at Jake's bedside so I can tell him again how many people love him, most of all his Momma, Daddy and big Sister.  God  please watch over my baby boy tonight, and keep him safe from all harm..