Cautiously Optimistic

Guess who arrives in Toronto tomorrow? My big girl with her sweet smile and my wonderful Mom.  I cannot wait for them to walk through the door to Jake's hospital room.  Since we're in parent care we are allowed visitors and siblings can stay during the day, so I'm sure my boy will be smiling tomorrow when he sees his sister's face!  There is a possibility, dependent on many factors, that Jake will be discharged tomorrow and released to Ronald McDonald House for a week.  After that week he will have a final checkup and if given the all clear we can book our flights home.  I'm very cautiously optimistic because I know how quickly things can change and how many disappointments we had over the first surgery hospital stay.  Before we can go, Jake needs to keep maintaining his oxygen levels (which have been in the high 70s and low 80s with no oxygen assistance!), get a good report from the pacemaker team, have a good Echo, and possibly a chest x-ray.  So...we'll see.  If we are released tomorrow Jake will have been discharged 6 days post-open heart surgery.  How's that for a superbaby!

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the future.  Jake's future in particular.  Our time in Toronto and connections we have made with other Heart families have shown me how fragile life can really be.  In our short time on this journey with Jacob we have made connections with several families who have since lost their Heart warrior.  This week a family we met at RMH is saying goodbye to 9 year old Jordan, who was also a single ventricle patient, and I cannot even begin to fathom what they are experiencing.  Jacob always seemed to have a smile for Jordan, the few times that their paths crossed, and it's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that last week we sat at the table with him but a few days later he was gone.  My heart goes out to his family, and his to little sister who Georgia loved to play with during her last visit to RMH.  I had a great conversation with another Heart mom about this today, and wish I could reach a place of peace for this aspect of our family life.

Today I captured a picture of Jake's smile...these are few and far between right now, so it's precious to behold :)  You can see from the picture that he still slightly swollen from fluid retention, and he has the line in his neck but that line will be coming out tonight - Good Lord willing.

For right now, I am doing my best to be content.  I have so much to be thankful for.  And looking at the picture above warms my heart.  Once Georgia arrives, all will be right in our world again.  God bless both of my babies.