Jacob's surgery has been scheduled for tomorrow morning, 7 AM Toronto time. When the surgeon, Dr. Calderone spoke to us about our options he said there was no clear benefit of one approach over the other but he did recommend the Norwood approach over the Hybrid. Jon and I also felt this was the best way to go because we are getting Jacob's biggest hurdle out of the way. We have spent the day cuddling and loving our perfect baby boy. I keep stroking his little chest, knowing that after today it will never look the same.
I am having a very hard time trying to stay positive and keep the faith. My Mom has assured me that she can believe enough for both of us for the next couple of days. If you are reading this, please remember Jacob in your thoughts and prayers especially tomorrow morning and in the coming days of recovery. This diagnosis is brutally unfair and impossible to understand. How can a baby who looks so perfect on the outside be so sick on the inside? Jacob's new cardiologist told us today that he has a single ventricle patient who just had a healthy baby, and others who are living normal lives. He also said that he has patients who are on 4D in Sick Kids waiting for a heart transplant, and most of those are teenagers. All I know is that my only option is to take it one day at a time. Starting tomorrow with the Norwood procedure and pacemaker. There are only so many tears that I can cry, and I need to be strong for my baby boy and my precious Georgia.
So here we go. This chorus has been echoing through my head all day:
I have a maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hand
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call
I will be praying tomorrow throughout the day for Jacob and your entire family. The song you posted above is one that I sang to my son William when he was at HSC for his Norwood and Glen. It still brings tears to my eyes and I struggle to sing it at church. One day at a time - and for the next few days one hour or minute at a time - is really all you anyone can handle. Praying that God will give you the grace you desperately need at this time. From a heart mom who has walked this road before you.
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